We often associate "connecting" with being happy.  We've become a connected society.  Connecting with friends.  Connecting with family.  Connecting through email.  Connecting through texting and instant messenger.  Connecting through Facebook and Twitter and LinkedIn and Words With Friends and Flikr and on and on and on.  But do all of those connections really make us feel happier?  How did we make ourselves happy three years ago or five years ago?  

What about disconnecting?  Do we sometimes need to disconnect to reconnect?

I spent last Friday at Disneyland, and for once, I didn't have access to my phone, email, texting, Facebook or any of the means that I usually use to "connect".  Not by choice, mind you.  My phone died shortly after we arrived.  I panicked at first.  How will I upload pictures to Facebook and show everyone what a great time we are having?  How will I email pictures of Hudson to my friends and family as he's experiencing Disneyland?  Damn it; why didn't I think to charge my phone on the drive up?!  

It was a blessing.  I learned how to reconnect by disconnecting.  

I shared my experience with the four people I was there with, not the 359 "friends" on Facebook.  Although there were thousands of people around us, it felt like it was just the five of us.  These four other people had my undivided attention.  One in particular really had my attention.  :)  I think this was seriously the very best day of Hudson's almost 11-month life.  He went berserk over It's A Small World and meeting Goofy.  And I went berserk over watching him go berserk.  

I've never seen so much excitement as I saw in Hudson as we went through Small World.  It occurred to me that we adults rarely allow ourselves to go berserk with excitement.  I wonder why that is?  I know for me, I rarely disconnect and live in that very present moment.  That one moment, not the one that just passed or the one that is about to pass, but that one tiny tiny moment in time.  You blink and it's gone.  On to the next moment.  

There's nothing like spending time with a child to rediscover that child-like playfulness in each of us.  Children don't think about what they're going to do in the future or what happened in the past, they have fun because they enjoy what they're doing. in. the. moment.  Slow down and enjoy the moment.  Don't even think about enjoying it, just do it.  It may take some re-mapping of your brainwaves to unlearn how to be so serious and re-learn how to have fun, but if you enjoy the beauty of that very moment, it won't take long.  

I'm going to go back to implementing Selfish Sundays.  For that one day, I pledge to disconnect.  I pledge to use my phone only when coordinate getting together with someone.  I pledge not to use my phone to email, text, Facebook or Tweet.  What are you willing to do to disconnect in order to reconnect??  

I am thankful for so many things today, as we all are.  I am thankful for my beautiful baby boy; for enriching my life in more ways than I could have ever imagined. For giving me the best year of my life and many more to come. I am thankful for his health and for the health of my family and friends. I am thankful to be spending Thanksgiving with family and friends, and I am thankful that the rest of my family is spending Thanksgiving together in Oregon.  I am thankful for all of the wonderful people who I have in my life. For old friends and new.  

Reflecting on the many things I am thankful for makes me also think of those who are struggling in one way or another.  So many people have lost their jobs, have lost loved ones or are fighting for their own lives and health.  That doesn't make them better or worse, but they may have a different perspective.  I want to recognize a few special little people who, with smiles on their faces, are fighting for their lives.  Their strength is unfathomable and so admirable. They are brave, and full of love.  

A few days ago a fellow blogger, Minivan Mama  blogged about an incredible organization, 'Make Someone Smile'.  Every Monday she makes it her mission to do a good deed and this past Monday was no different.  

For the cost of a card and stamp we can all make a child smile. There are currently three beautiful children featured on the website who need our love and support. What they really need is a card to make them smile.  That's it - we can all do that, right?! (Of course, if you want to do more than give a card, I'm sure their families would be grateful for that too!)  

Emalee (in the photo above) is three years old.  Literally overnight she developed two golf-ball sized bumps above her eyes.  From that day forward her family's life as they knew it has been forever changed.  

"... After hours of waiting and not knowing what was wrong, a CT scan showed they were some type of tumors and she was immediately taken to another hospital for further testing. We were then told after many hours and tests later, that Emalee had cancer, which was Stage 4 High Risk Neuroblastoma. It apparently started as a large tumor in her abdomen and had already spread to her knee, clavicle, bone marrow and head."  

Addison is six years old.  

"Two days after Easter 2010, he had a fever of 102.5 accompanied by severe jaw pain. We took him to the pediatrician where they ran a blood test. The phone call that followed a couple hours later, was one that turned our world upside down. All I remember was the doctor saying, 'Sarah, we have to talk. It's not good. Addison has Leukemia'."

Aiden is four years old.

"We first noticed a major sign that 'something wasn't right' with Aiden on the actual day of his diagnosis, April 17th of 2010. He woke up from his nap with severe stomach pain and couldn't even move off of the couch .... so he had to take Aiden to the ER at the hospital down the street. They did blood work and thought that maybe he had appendicitis.  The blood work came back ... The doctors assured me that his condition was indeed cancerous and that there was definitely no mistake- he had Leukemia."

While giving thanks on this special day, take five minutes to make a child (or two or three) smile.  
http://www.makeachildsmile.org/

I don't eat meat.  I don't eat turkey.  I don't eat chicken.  I don't eat ham.  (This is starting to sound like a Dr. Seuss book.)  I very occasionally eat bacon, but that's not meat; that's bacon.  Bacon is not meat, it's bacon!  

Despite my aversion to meat, I do enjoy the tradition of making Thanksgiving dinner.  I cook a turkey every couple of years.  I'm told they are quite delicious.  

I usually buy a fresh turkey, but this year I got sucked into buying a frozen turkey from my favorite grocer, Trader Joe's. 

10:40 p.m. last night. I was laying in bed running through everything I need to do to make tomorrow go as smoothly as possible.  The turkey is already brined. Do I have a big enough roasting pot? I think so. Do I have a thermometer?  No, but I know who does.
I need to calibrate my oven; it's a little off.  What time do I need to put the turkey in the oven?  Oh crap!  I suddenly recalled that it takes days to thaw out a turkey.  I quickly conferred with my reliable friend, google, who told me that my turkey will take 2-3 days to thaw out.  I jumped out of bed and threw the bird into the refrigerator.  

8:43 a.m.  this morning.  Checked the turkey.  Still hard as a rock.  Make that a boulder.  As hard as a boulder.  Quick, get back in touch with google. How do I thaw the bird today.  safely.  ?  Okay, ice the bird at room temperature, changing the water every 30 minutes.  Be careful that there are no tears in the bag.  Make sure the bird stays cold.  Make sure you change the water every. thirty. minutes.  I cannot spend all day changing the bird's water every thirty minutes!  I have things to do.  Important things to do. 

9:03 a.m.  Called Trader Joe's. Explained that I need to return my frozen turkey that I bought this past Sunday.  Explained that I forgot it takes days to thaw a turkey.  I apologized, and explained that I need to return it so that I can go elsewhere to buy a fresh bird. The gentleman on the phone told me that they only have fresh turkeys, but in any event, I was welcome to bring my bird back.  I bought the bird at a different TJ's, they must have different turkeys.

9:22 a.m.  Drove to Trader Joe's with my bird.  We walked up to the manager, my bird and I, and I explained my predicament.  "I'm so sorry, but I  bought a frozen bird and I neglected to take it out of the freezer in time.  I would like to return the bird so I can go somewhere else where I can buy a fresh bird."  

9:23 a.m.  TJ's manager politely explained to me, without making me feel like a complete idiot, that my bird was fresh.  I took a fresh bird and plunked it in the freezer!  He graciously agreed to exchange the bird.  All of the birds were bigger than my original bird.  Not by much, but enough to cost a little more.  No problem.  Except that in my moment of panic, I left the house without my wallet.  No problem, he said.  I left with a bird. A fresh, brined bird. A fresh, brined bird is now sitting in my refrigerator.  

Thank you, Trader Joe's. You're always there for me.  

Hudson has been taking a step or two here and there.  He stands alone for quite a while and then he gets so proud of himself that he flaps his arms as fast as he can and starts to fall forward, which is when the steps come in.  They're more of an oops, how do I not fall forward save himself sort of step.  Yesterday he took several steps with Lucia, his nanny.  I guess that's how it starts.  First they take one step, which turns into a handful of steps and before you blink they're walking.

We go on walks several times a week and I often think about how I want to start running again, but there's no way I can run like I used to.  I haven't ran since I was like five or six months preggo.  So, I continue to tell myself the story that I'm too out of shape to run and that I have to start lifting weights or something to build up my strength and then I can start running again.  Only then will I be able to get back into running.  Of course, I have every excuse in the book that prevents me from taking the elevator down five floors to get to our weight room.  (or better yet I could WALK down five flights of stairs!).  It's no wonder I don't run, I have all kinds of alibis.  

I had an epiphany on our walk this morning.  Hudson, like most babies, learns to walk by cruising around furniture, standing alone, taking one step, then three steps, etc. and finally one day he'll be running full speed ahead.  That's when it hit me that I don't have to set out to run for 30 minutes.  I don't have to wait until I'm "strong enough" to run like I used to.  Just take baby steps.  I can start running right now, today, even if it's only five minutes.  Or three minutes.  Just run already, damn it!

I ran this morning.  I ran for 20 minutes and I took a few walk breaks in between.  It felt so invigorating.  So this is what it feels like to have my heart rate up again?!  I have to say, the caffeine helped.  Oh how I've missed my caffeine.

It's so easy to delay today what we can put off until tomorrow, especially when we have all kinds of seemingly-acceptable excuses.  I often do it out of fear of failure, but I have to remind myself that running three minutes versus 30 minutes isn't a failure - it's a success. Three minutes is more than I've ran in months.  Celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may feel.  Whether it's running or writing or cooking, just begin with baby steps.  After all, we have to walk before we can run.  

I hear a lot of complaints from new moms, but the biggest complaint is lack. of. sleep!  (Now, that's not to say I don't hear about an overwhelming amount of joy, because I do.  But my coaching clients don't hire me to talk about how much they love being a mom.)  I recently read that new moms lose about 350 hours of sleep in the first year!  Nobody told us we wouldn't sleep for an entire year. Maybe nobody told us that before we became a mom for fear of extinction.  We don't function well on less than a full night of sleep.   

One of my clients was complaining that her baby was staying up until 11:00 p.m. when she and her husband went to bed and only slept eight total hours at night.  After we spoke she decided to try letting her baby learn to put himself to sleep around 7pm and after crying for less than an hour he was fast asleep.  And, he slept until 7:00 a.m. the next day.  She was shocked - how could this be so easy?!

Sometimes we don't give our little ones the credit they deserve.  We're apprehensive to try new things for fear that they won't adapt or it won't work or that it may make things worse than they were before we tried.  And sometimes when we try new things we learn that our stories about what *may* happen are just that - stories.  And our reality is often different from our stories.

I am completely guilty of this.  I hear myself saying things like "I'm afraid to eliminate Hudson's 5:00 a.m. feeding because he may wake up a lot earlier than his usual 7am wake up".  Last night was night three of weaning Hudson from his 5:00 a.m. feeding.  For the past several months he goes to bed at 7:00 p.m., usually wakes up around 4:30 or 5:00 a.m. for a 10-minute feeding and then he falls right back to sleep until around 7:00 a.m.  Although the 5:00 a.m. feeding is quick, it still breaks up my (and his) sleep, which isn't ideal for either of us.

I thought for sure he would scream and protest when I refused to feed him, but like is most often the case, I was wrong.  He has woken up around 5am the past few mornings, and I haven't fed him, but after a few minutes of whining he's fallen back to sleep.  I go into his bedroom and tell him "it's time to go to sleep, baby", and I leave the room and crawl back into my snuggly bed.  Within 10 minutes he's out like a light.  

Hudson's pediatrician has told me time-and-time-again that it will only take 3-5 nights before he realizes he's not getting fed at 5:00 a.m. and he will start sleeping straight through.  He's usually right about everything, but for whatever reason I've resisted trusting this advice.  Tonight will be night four and I *believe* that Hudson is smart enough to sleep straight through without waking.  And if not, I'll keep trying.  

Yesterday was my birthday.  

38 years and one day ago I took my first breath.  Cried my first cry.  And pooped for the first time.  I don't remember being born, but I can feel what that moment was like.  The excitement and joy a mother feels the first time she holds her baby.  Back then my mother likely didn't hold me until I was bathed, weighed, measured, spanked, and god knows what else.  But at some point she held me for the first time and that was the beginning of a mother-child bond.  A bond that only a mother can truly comprehend.

This birthday was different than the previous 37.  I thought more about my mom on my birthday than I have before.  Each year I look forward to celebrating my birthday - another year of my life, but I haven't really thought about the meaning behind my special day.  38 years ago my mom gave birth - she gave me life.  A profound life-changing experience for her no doubt.  

Having given birth to Hudson, and thinking about that day quite often, I don't think I can ever look at my birthday through the same lens.  It's no longer just about me and my day.  It's our day; my mom's and mine.  Thank you mom, for bringing me into this world on November 12, 1972.  I love you.

A few weeks ago I wrote about setting my intention to take swimming classes and within a couple of weeks I took an incredible week-long swimming class.  It's pretty darn cool to see the law of attraction at work.  

I promised to write about my previous experience with the law of attraction, the one that brought Hudson to me, so here goes.  

Two-and-a-half years ago I was single and I had just quit my job at a top law firm to pursue my passion as a life coach, and to have more freedom in my life, something I pretty much gave up once I started practicing law.  Practicing law at a top law firm and being single without kids seems to goes hand-in-hand.  

After I left the firm I started my life coach training program with Martha Beck and one of our exercises was to write an 'end game'.  Start at the end, where you want to be, describe your ideal life, set your intentions and you will attract more of what you want into your life.  It happens.  Usually without even thinking about it.  This isn't like "The Secret" where you essentially make a dream board with a picture of that new Mercedes you've always wanted along with the fifteen-bedroom house on the ocean and then expect that they'll just appear in your life.  No, that's not what this is about.  This is about really getting clear about what it is that you want from your life, setting your intention on having that and then acting as if you already have it.  

When I wrote out my end game in Martha's training I happened to be on a 10-day-mini 'Eat, Pray, Love' retreat that I gave myself on the big island of Hawaii.  I was single at the time, but I had a pretty clear picture of what I wanted.  We were told to write it as if it were three years later, or April 11, 2011.  Here's a snipit from my end game:

"On April 11, 2011 I am 38 years old. On this day, as with all days to come, I will wake up whenever the sun rises and shines into my bedroom window. I will start each “work” day at 10:00 after I’ve exercised, meditated, had a nice breakfast and have given myself 15 minutes of doing nothing. 

My workspace is attached to my home, which is on the ocean in Encinitas, California. My workspace is on the top floor with floor to ceiling windows looking out over the ocean. The windows open slightly to faintly hear the sounds of the ocean.  There are pictures of all of the places I’ve traveled in the frames, as well as family pictures, including pictures of my husband and one-year old baby."  
Now, for those of you who don't know me ... next April 2011 my baby Hudson will be just over one-year-old.  I now live in a condo overlooking the bay, with floor-to-ceiling windows and the sun shines in each morning waking me up.  My office is in my home and it's overlooking the bay.  Granted, it's not the ocean, but the bay feeds into the ocean and it's pretty darn close.  I am not married, but I guess April is still five months away, right?!  ; ) 

While the universe was busy shifting around to create my reality I had completely forgotten about my end game.  I hadn't looked at it since I wrote it out until two years later, after Hudson was born.  My jaw dropped.  I had to re-read it a few times.  It was sort of like the moment the pregnancy test said "Pregnant".  I was in disbelief.  I have the life I wrote about.  Wow, that was easy.  And ... I became a believer.  A believer in setting intentions and the law of attraction.  

So what are you waiting for?  Go write your end game - compose your life.  Pick a date in the future, one year, three years, five years, whatever and write your ideal day as if it were already that date.  Describe your life in as much detail and take it one step further than I did - print it out and tape it to your bathroom mirror.  Or above your bed on your ceiling, I don't care.  Just paste it somewhere where you will see it every day.  Or, if you're brave enough, copy it into a comment right below this post!  REALLY put it out to the universe.  What do you have to lose?  C'mon, click copy and paste.  And presto - see what happens. 

Last night Hudson was dressed up as a lion for Halloween.  I picked his costume because I thought it was super cute and because he has a stuffed lion -- Mr. Lion, who we play with all the time.  While we were out trick-or-treating, Mr. Lion grabbed plenty of attention, but the one passerby who caught my attention was a gentleman who commented on the cowardly lion.

We've all seen, or at least heard of The Wizard of Oz (is there really anyone who hasn't seen it?!), but we don't often stop to think about the messages from the movie.  Or any movie really.  The cowardly lion traveled to Oz hoping to get some courage because he believed that his fear made him a coward.  And after all, the king of the jungle shouldn't have fears, right?!  (Just like a good mom shouldn't be afraid - sound familiar?).  What the lion didn't realize was that by taking action, which he often did even in the face of fear, made him courageous.  
The cowardly lion en route to Oz got me thinking about the fears I have as a new mom and how I sometimes feel like I don't have any courage.  Some mornings when my alarm goes off (a.k.a. Hudson) I feel like pulling the covers over my head and going back to sleep.  Often it's because I'm rounding the corner of my tenth month of sleep deprivation and other times it's because I feel like I won't have enough energy or patience to get me through the day.  And then of course I start to judge my feelings and tell myself that a perfect mom would be all zen-ned out, wouldn't lose her patience, wouldn't be afraid of anything and would be leaping out of bed each morning to kiss her bundle of joy.  We all know those moms who seem to have everything pulled together, never crack under pressure and always delight at the sound of her waking baby - but, I have to wonder if those moms have fear too, and they're "afraid" to let it show.  

It's easy to get sucked into a spiral of fear and thoughts of self-doubt; we all have them.  But, for the most part, as parents, we continue to parent our little ones each day and do the best we can, despite our fears.  By definition according to Oz, that makes us courageous.  One step at a time down the yellow brick road is all we need to take.