Hudson was a few weeks old and we were at our weekly breastfeeding group.  We were all newbie moms, eyes wide open wondering what we do now that we have these healthy, beautiful little babies.  Our babies were pretty easy, they slept, ate, pooped and snuggled for hours straight.  

It was wonderful having other new moms to connect with.  We talked about milk production, clogged milk ducts, too much production, too little production, our babies' weight gain, our babies' weight loss, lack of sleep, lack of sleep and more lack of sleep.  Same topics, over and over.  Days blended into weeks and weeks into months.  But it felt good knowing that we were all in "it" together and we were sharing an incredibly special bond.

Our get-togethers were comforting.  Until one day. A couple of moms were talking about their flash cards.  I listened quietly.  Granted, I was half asleep, but I swore they were talking about showing their three week old newborns flash cards.  OMG - how did I miss this in the books I had read?  Why didn't my pediatrician tell me about these flash cards?  Damn it, Hudson is already three weeks behind and I'm sure he'll be slower than all of the other babies because his mommy is behind the times and flash cards was not amongst the list of 500 "must haves" from Babies R Us!  I didn't ask questions as all of the moms seemed to know what the other moms were talking about.  I must be the only new mom on the planet who doesn't know about newborn flash cards.  

At the end of the group I drove back home in my lack of sleep daze and started consulting my expert, google.  I couldn't find anything on newborn flash cards other than the marketing pieces by the manufacturers themselves.  Baby Einstein of course has a line of flash cards (brilliant marketing name, by the way!).  But I found nothing to support the use of flash cards and newborn development.  I got to thinking, I'm pretty sure Einstein himself didn't use any sort of newborn flash cards.  Nor Beethoven.  Nor Sir Isaac Newton.  Nor Leonardo da Vinci.  I'm sure Einstein would be mortified if he knew about the Baby Einstein product line.  Now I don't mean to suggest that we should never use modern science and technology to improve the way we learn, but I wasn't able to find anything linking newborn flash cards and learning or development.  (Or any of the Baby Einstein products for that matter).  

Since I wasn't able to find anything solid on flash cards I asked a few friends with older children what they "did" with their newborns and they looked at me like I was going cross-eyed (I may have been given the lack of sleep I was surviving on).  Everyone pretty much came up with the same response - they showered their babies with love and affection, talked to them, made eye contact, sang to them and comforted their newborns.  Love.  Unconditional love.  That is all Hudson needed from me as a newborn.  Lucky for Hudson, he was already getting all of those things from his adoring mommy!  :)  

Hudson is going to be 17 months tomorrow and while he certainly has a lot of toys, for the most part, he still enjoys the simple things.  He couldn't live without his books, his spoons and his special cupboard filled with some Tupperware and pots and pans.  It's a constant reminder to me that I often get guilted into buying "developmental" toys.  I still love the classics - shape sorters, animal sounds books and puzzles and building blocks, but the rest of his toys are really unnecessary.  

I have many friends who are pregnant right now, or who have newborns and I hope this post reaches them right around the time they're at a moms group and wondering if they've messed up their kid for life because they don't have newborn flash cards!  You're doing a great job, just be in love with your babies and they will thrive!  

Monday was a crappy day. It was a day that a daughter (or son) never expects to happen, but sometimes it just does. It was the day that my Dad decided he no longer wants to be a part of mine and my son's lives. Am I the only one? The only one whose father doesn't want a relationship with his own daughter? After days of sitting with so many mixed emotions I finally decided I would blog about it. 

Yesterday afternoon I was thinking about what I wanted to say and how much of my personal life I wanted to reveal. Would I actually tell the world that my own Dad doesn't want me in his life, or would I just speak about it in vague terms ? Or maybe I can talk about it without revealing that it was my dad who walked away versus some hypothetical family? What was I making it mean about 'me' that my Dad made this choice?

While I was pondering my approach I hopped on to a colleague's blog, and I saw a picture of a father holding his daughter's hand. At first glance I thought it was going to be a post about Amy's husband and their little girl, but once I started reading I realized it was not. As I read the first few sentences, I just about fell out of my chair. She posted it earlier that same morning. "When Your Parent Can't Give You the Love You Deserve." Clearly (and sadly) I am not the only one. 

I couldn't possibly discuss the subject any better than Amy already has, and therefore please visit Amy's post by clicking here.  Her post has given me so many gifts - most of all, perspective and compassion. Bravo to Amy for being so open and telling the truth.